Jedi Alchemist
by Fullmetal Archer
Summary: The Elric Brothers are thrown unceremoniously into the Star Wars universe. As well as ordered by the Gate to make sure the Prophesy of the Chosen One is completed, the brothers find that they also have a task to find an astray friend from their world.
1. Prologue

You know, I've been obsessed with Fullmetal Alchemist fan fics for ages, and yet I have never seen a Star Wars/ FMA crossover fic. A fair few Harry Potter ones, but no Star Wars. So I decided to write one, though I suppose I really should be writing Across the Void. Meh. I'll get round to it. I'm kind of stuck on that one at the moment.

This fic will be totally Ed/Win, before the end of the series, and after the Lab Five incident. The Star Wars part of it will begin at the beginning The Phantom Menace, and if I get a few reviews, will continue throughout the whole Star Wars saga.

Pairings: As I said before, Ed/Win. As well as Anakin/Padme. I don't know yet, but mayhap Al will find a special someone...

Warnings: Spoilers for the series up until episode twenty four. Things may change, as I'm rewatching the series at the moment. In fact, to be on the safe side, spoilers for throughout the series!

Disclaimer: I don't own neither FMA nor Star Wars. I'd be very, very rich if I did.

* * *

The Jedi Alchemist

_Chapter 1- And now for something completely different._

"What do you mean, they're _dead_?" Winry Rockbell, professional Automail mechanic, screamed at First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye. The older woman was expressionless, but her eyes were sympathetic.

"Just exactly that, Winry," Riza replied kindly, and then winced, realising how harsh the words were. She put a hand on the younger girl's shoulder. Winry looked as if she was going to burst into tears at any moment.

"There was a bomb," Riza started hesitantly. "The blast from it shook the support beams of the warehouse loose, the warehouse Edward and Alphonse were investigating. We believe that when the roof caved, both boys were killed instantly." Difficult to explain to Winry, but it had to be said. But when the girl nodded, looking much calmer than but a few seconds before, Riza was worried. Winry had the glazed look of unshed tears sparkling in her cerulean blue eyes.

"If there's anything I can do... If you need me..." Riza trailed off, suddenly aware of how little knowledge she possessed when it came to comforting distressed teenagers, especially females. Edward she could... could have handled, but girls had to be dealt with in a softer manner. Clicking the safety off her handgun wouldn't do anyone any good.

"I'll be fine, Miss Riza," Winry informed her. She was pale, and by the way her hands were shaking nearly uncontrollably, she beginning to feel the early signs of loss. But the way her skin colour was fading... Riza had to draw the line at that. No one could look that ashen and be alright.

"You don't look fine," Riza told her gently, attempting a second approach at a kind tone.

"I wonder why!" Winry snapped, and instantly felt ashamed. Riza was only trying to help, after all.

Edward was dead. Al too. Winry sniffled. That wasn't possible... well, it wasn't _im_possible but... Who would have thought that something as trivial as a collapsing roof would claim the invincible Elric brothers? It was stupid really. Ed had never let the prospect of death keep him from his goal of restoring his brother's body, not matter how many times he'd had close scrapes, and managed to destroy her automail at the same time. So why now?

She mentally shook herself. _Stop theorizing! _She scolded herself. _Your best friends just... died, and you're wondering 'why'?_ _Get a hold of yourself!_

"Winry?!" Riza's yell brought her back to where she was; Central City's Military Headquarters, just outside the office of Colonel Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist, and his subordinates.

"Winry, what's going on?!" Riza half screamed, now sounding afraid. The door to the office opened, and several face peered out at the commotion, no doubt wondering what was making the unstoppable woman that was Riza Hawkeye yell.

"I'm fine!" Winry reassured the near hysterical woman once again, putting up her hands in the pleading gesture that Al alw- had always assumed when his brother was being unreasonable. It was in that moment that the girl realised she was fading.

"What the-" Winry started, and watched in a kind of fascinated horror as her world started to die away. A dark haired, dark eyed man squeezed his fellow officers and gave a yelp of shock as he realised the predicament Winry was in. She couldn't think of anything to do; she waved at the startled officers as she faded into oblivion...

* * *

"_You humans are hopeless. Completely hopeless."_

Ed couldn't believe it. He was dead, and the Gate wouldn't let him pass. Instead, it was busy giving him and his brother, Alphonse, the scolding of their lifetimes- well, death times, now.

"_Jeez, I let you have your brother's soul back, and you both just went and got yourselves killed permanently."_

"Hey, it wasn't our fault!" Ed yelled. He _was_ dead, after all. The Gate would have to let him and Al through at some point.

"_Sure it wasn't your fault! Whose was it? The milk man's?"_

"Please, Mister Gate, sir, it truly wasn't our fault," Al put in, though he sounded confused as to what title to give the Gate. Sure he had met it before, but it ate his body, so no use annoying it further. "There was a kitty, but it looked a lot like Envy, it even had purple-"

"_I really don't care _how_ you died, it's just that your task wasn't finished... But I can't send you back there because you're both dead. Just useless!"_

"Wait, what do you mean, 'our task wasn't finished'?!" Ed asked, looking bewildered in his ectoplasmic form.

"_Ah, all you humans have to do some sort of task, change the world, etc. But, since you two died prematurely, you two can't go to the peaceful realms until you've done your bit."_

"Our bit?" Al asked, his armour, though expressionless, still managing to convey the fact that he was as clueless as his brother.

"_Well, yes,"_ the Gate replied as if it was the simplest thing in the whole of existence. _"And you know what else? I believe I need some form of entertainment."_

Ed began to look worried. Not that anyone could blame him, in that situation. "Entertainment?"

"_Yes. Ever since that Dante woman managed to get the Philosopher's Stone four hundred years back, there's been nothing but violence and corruption on your world. And the alternate world? Don't get me started on that! There's no alchemy, only scientists with about as much backbone as a boneless fish!"_

"Wait!" Ed started, sounding excited. "Did you just say Philosopher's Stone?"

"_No, I said 'furry gorilla'. What do you think I said, you stupid human?! Of course it was the Philosopher's- hey, wait a minute."_

"What?" both, might I repeat again, _dead_, brothers asked in unison.

"_I have for you a proposition."_

"Like what?" Ed couldn't keep the distrust from his voice.

"_Well, my sister, here, Force- say hello, Force-"_ A blue radiance appeared, looking like a floating lantern.

"_Hello."_

"_Yes, as I was saying, Force here has a prophesy in her universe. Something about a chosen one and some such nonsense-"_ A slapping noise indicated that Gate had been slapped.

"_Ouch! Well, yes, she has a prophesy that has to be fulfilled. Only she has seen that the people involved are not enough to protect and guide said Chosen One to bring balance between evil and light. This is what I ask of you; you go in, help light return and kill darkness, and you may go back to live on your world. Your brother may have his body back, and I'll take care of any paperwork that was filled out to say you two died. Do we have a deal?"_

Ed raised an eyebrow. "There's another universe?"

"_Well, duh,"_ Force butted in. _"You lot always believe you're the only ones with intelligent sentient life forms in existence. Well, you're wrong!" _Force vanished in a huff, leaving Ed and Al feeling somewhat shell shocked.

"Okay, before we agree, how long will this prophesy take to complete?"

"_Eh? Oh, about thirty seven years."_

"_What_?!" Yelped both Ed and Al. Gate sighed.

"_Fine. You two get to go back to your own time, and you shall stay, as long as you're in Force's universe, at the age of say... eighteen and seventeen. _Now_ do we have a deal?!"_

Ed turned to his little brother. "We really don't have a choice, do we?" he asked.

Al shrugged, the armour clanging and banging with the movements. "I guess not."

"_Oh yes, I forgot,"_ Gate started, slyly.

"What?" Al asked this time.

"_I sent a friend along. You'll find her eventually, within the first year of your existence there. You'll know her when you see her."_

"Who is she?!" Ed yelled at Gate, who, had it a face, would have been smirking a_ lot_.

"_You'll see."_ Was the answer as Edward and Alphonse faded into oblivion.

And Ed, who of course always had to have the last say, screeched something to the effect of, "You bastard!" in return.

* * *

Yes, I realise the Gate was a _complete_ smartarse, and that's purposeful. This is supposed to be fun, and if you haven't already noticed, totally AU. I apologise for any OOCness. Hopefully that will be fixed soon. By the way; I really like Riza, she's my favourite female character, so I don't mean to make her sound callous. It just works.

Oh, and please review if you like


	2. Episode I: And where are we?

OMG!! I actually got some reviews! THANKYOU LUNATIC PANDORA1, MIROKU-HAS-DARKNESS AND AIRELEMENTAL101!!! I'm glad I'm not the only one that hasn't seen an FMA Star Wars crossover; when I posted, I just thought maybe I'd missed one. And I'm also happy that I amused some people :D

And for the normal jazz...

Pairings: As I said before, Ed/Win. As well as Anakin/Padmé. I don't know yet, but mayhap Al will find a special someone...

Warnings: Spoilers for the series up until episode twenty four. Things may change, as I'm rewatching the series at the moment. In fact, to be on the safe side, spoilers for throughout the series!

Disclaimer: I don't own neither FMA nor Star Wars. I'd be very, very rich if I did.

Here's the next chapter; enjoy!

* * *

**The Phantom Menace- **_And where are we?_

The cloud of Trade Federation battle cruisers surrounding the peaceful planet of Naboo looked to Qui Gon Jinn, Jedi Master and ambassador for the Galactic Republic's Chancellor Valorum, like fat white maggots as they spread through space, blocking all access to the planet below them.

Overall, Qui Gon was not impressed. He'd seen many a battleship in his time as a Knight for the Galactic Republic, and this was no different. What mattered was not the powerful ships, more the beings they carried.

The view screen in front of him lit up, and the image of a Neimoidian, an alien with greyish-tan skin and dull orange eyes looked up at him.

_Strange_, Qui Gon thought, noting the three-pronged headdress worn by the alien. _It's one of the Federation's viceroys. Does he great all incoming ships, or are we special?_

"Captain," he said aloud. "Tell them we wish to board at once."

"Yes, sir." Said captain looked back to her view screen and spoke into her mike. "With all due respect, the ambassadors for Supreme Chancellor wish to board immediately."

The alien smiled greasily. "Yes, of course. As you know, out blockade is perfectly legal. We'd be happy to receive the ambassadors..." The screen went blank.

As the Federation's ship loomed in front of them, Qui Gon motioned to his Padawan, one Obi Wan Kenobi. The young Jedi's face, from what could be seen under his cloak's hood, was set and stern, as befitted an important mission. Tell tale screeches told that the docking had been successful, and that it was now safe to exit to the hangar bay.

As the two Jedi came down the exit ramp, Qui Gon eyed the protocol droid waiting below. It was odd; the viceroy had been all too happy to speak to them via the comm., but was avoiding them when in person.

The droid bowed hesitantly. "I'm TC-14 at your service. This way please." It waddled off awkwardly, as most droids did. Sparing a glance at his Padawan, Qui Gon followed. He heard Obi Wan following close behind.

The droid lead them to a large room, complete with a conference table and a view of the planet; still surrounded in battleships of course. _Not the best view for peace talks_, Qui Gon thought.

"I hope you will be quite comfortable here," the droid said, passing around drinks as they sat down. "My masters will be with you shortly." It bowed again, and took its leave.

Alone, both Jedi shook off their hoods. Obi Wan was slightly shorter than his master, with green eyes and short brown hair, not forgetting the single braid dangling over his right shoulder; the trade mark look of the Padawan Learner. Qui Gon wore his greying brown hair long, and sported a small, neat beard. Only the Jedi's clothing was similar; cream tunics, and the dark brown cloaks of the Jedi order.

Obi Wan stared out the window, down at the battle fleet before them. "I have a bad feeling about this," he said finally.

"You're telling me," a sarcastic voice announced from the window, in a dark shadowy corner. Both Jedi jumped to their feet and ignited their lightsabers, which had been concealed until then.

"Brother! I thought you said don't blow our cover!" a second voice scolded.

"Well, despite the funny clothes these two _look_ normal!" the first voice retorted.

"Show yourselves," Qui Gon commanded, suddenly fierce.

A large mass moved. Okay, so it wasn't shadow, a person was just hiding behind a lump of steel... a moving lump of steel. The lump of steel that turned to face the two Jedi, and its eyes glowed red through the confines of its helmet.

"Don't listen to brother," the steel shaped like a suit of armour said. "He's just as shocked as I am. When Gate said we were coming here, we didn't think-"

"Shut up, Al, we don't know if we can trust them!" A short blond teenager stalked into view, wearing black pants and a black shirt and a red coat with a strange symbol on the back.

"Sorry brother," the steel apologised.

Obi Wan stared at the suit of armour and turned to the blond. "That's fine workmanship. How did you manage to get it to sound so... human?"

The blond bristled. "Al _is_ human! I oughta-" he leapt at the Jedi only to be held back by the large... maybe-droid.

Qui Gon tested the Force around the two. The blond had a temper, that much he could tell in a glance but the armour...

"You even _feel_ alive," he marvelled. Both blond and armour stopped and stared at him.

"What do you mean 'feel'?" the steel asked.

"What do you mean 'feel' alive, old man?! Of course he's alive- wait, what?" the blond yelled before finally catching on to the armour's question.

Qui Gon opened his mouth to repeat his remark, but the words were drowned out by a loud explosion from the direction of the hangar.

The blond harrumphed, and quickly told the older Jedi Master, "See, that saves me from mentioning it out of the blue. The creepy looking grey... things want you dead. And since you seem more... human than them..."

"Can we stick with you, please?" The amour asked, sounding fretful, and it clasped its leather gauntlets in front of it in a gesture of well being.

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Obi Wan raising an eyebrow at the armour. It was like a human or alien life had been trapped there, instead of a droid that was designed to _act_ like a living being.

"Stay close," Qui Gon ordered, catching the look Obi Wan had shot him at the words. _Not more pathetic life forms...? _his apprentices' eyes seemed to ask.

"Good idea, old man," the blond replied. A hissing noise immediately diverted all attention to the roof. A green cloud was seeping through a vent close to the ceiling.

"Gas!" it was the blond again. He sucked in a deep breath as the Jedi did the same.

* * *

Winry was confused. No, scratch that; she was _beyond _confused. One moment, she had been talking to First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, the next, she had faded and reappeared _here_. Wherever 'here' was.

When she had woken up, she'd had a splitting headache, was lying flat on her back and hadn't any idea in the world where she was. The room she was in was furnished in silks the colour of the setting sun and regal looking high backed chairs were scattered about. The floors were marble, and the windows on either side of the room were gigantic, holding views for miles, down the cliffs and out onto the plains. _Wait... plains?_

This just confused her. There were no plains in Central, at all! And the amount of flora she was seeing here was doubled to that she'd see in Risembool, let alone Central!

Where the hell was she?!

Voices made Winry look up, and to the double doors at what looked to be the front of the room opened. Without a second thought, she dove behind one of the marble pillars that were supporting the high ceiling, and brought out her hidden weapon; her trusty wrench.

A group of five girls emerged from wherever the doors lead. One was dressed in an over decorated red gown, a rather large headdress secured on her head. Her face was painted completely white, except for her lips; the top was bright red, as was a small portion of the bottom lip. Two red spots were painted in the centre of each of her cheeks. Her face was expressionless. The other four girls were dressed in hooded robes that swung to the floor, the colour of flames. One look at the five was enough for Winry to question her sanity. Maybe she'd just fainted from the shock and was hallucinating.

"Your highness," one of the girls came forward. "It is time."

"I never thought it would come to this,. Damn the viceroy," the person in the red gown replied, her voice lilting with a strange accent Winry had never heard before. The girl sat and sighed heavily. She quickly took the headdress off. "Secure the room," she ordered the rest of the girls. Winry tensed, cursing silently. Dream or no, she may have to fight, though the prospect didn't appeal to her.

The doors sealed when one of the girls went and tapped what looked like a code onto a pad near the main seat. No matter the danger she could be on, Winry itched to see how the door mechanism worked. The rest of the girls fanned out, stationing themselves near windows, luckily, leaving the window near Winry free. She looked around desperately for a better place to hide, and discovered a cove near the window.

It took her a only a few seconds to work out the times as to when the girls were looking the other way. Only a few more seconds to get into a crouching position unnoticed and time her break. When she made it, however, she didn't anticipate this loud, flying _thing_ deciding to do a fly-by, right outside her window.

And, as one tends to do when startled out of their wits by something she had never seen before, Winry half screamed. Then she shut her mouth and cursed silently some more.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid!_ She mentally berated herself. Now they knew she was there.

"What was that?" the lilting accent of 'her highness' echoed around the silent room. "Eirtaé?"

Unfortunately, the girl closest to Winry was the one that answered. "Yes, milady?"

"Sweep the room."

"Of course." And, of course, she headed in Winry's direction. _Damn, they must be trained for this..._ Winry thought. She held her wrench tightly, and looked up straight into the barrel of a pistol unlike any she had ever seen. Which was strange, as the girl knew Hawkeye's gun collection almost by heart, and Hawkeye quite possibly owned every type of gun in the whole of Amestris.

_Oh crap_, Winry thought.

* * *

After this, I believe I'll write from Ed and Al's point of view. I was just starting with Qui Gon to set the scene. Anyway, I hope you liked.

Please review!


	3. Episode I: The Two Alchemists

Hello all! I'm sorry I'm sooo late in updating! School is out to get me, and I thought year ten was supposed to be a good year! I'm dying under a mountain of homework which collapsed on top of me. Hellllp...

And for the usual jazz-

Pairings: As I said before, Ed/Win. As well as Anakin/Padmé. I don't know yet, but mayhap Al will find a special someone...

Warnings: Spoilers for the series up until episode twenty four. Things may change, as I'm rewatching the series at the moment. In fact, to be on the safe side, spoilers for throughout the series!

Disclaimer: I don't own neither FMA nor Star Wars. I'd be very, very rich if I did.

And a word to my reviewers:

OMFG!! THANK YOU SOOO MUCH FOR REVIEWING!! I've never gotten so many reviews for just two chapters!

Huggles and muffins to-

haganenohono, LunaticPandora, miroku-has-darkness, Fullmetal Fangrl, Pretty Good Satan, Koori Youkai Hime, chase glasslace and shinigami109!!

Anyway; on with the show!!

**The Jedi Alchemist**

_Chapter 3- The Two Alchemists and Two Jedi _

A holocamera in the conference room showed only a thick, green cloud. Nute Gunray, Neimoidian viceroy of the Trade Federation, studied the picture carefully. _They must be dead by now, _he thought with satisfaction. He switched to a view of the hallway outside the conference room, where a crowd of battle droids were, awaiting orders.

"Go in and blast what's left of them," he ordered, and the blast door on the room slammed open.

Edward felt as if his eyes were about to explode. Seriously, a minute and a half was waaay too long for one to hold their breath. The two older guys seemed to fine, and of course Al was, seeing as he didn't exactly _need_ to breathe, but Ed was struggling.

_I need air_, he thought desperately, fighting the urge to take a second breath. _Damn gas..._

The blast doors slammed open and the lack of oxygen that was making him hallucinate weird colours dissipated as he took a deep breath as soon as possible. Gasping, he slumped against his brother, who was currently hopping from foot to foot worriedly.

"Brother, are you okay?" Al asked.

Any reply he could have made was cut off.

"-blast what's left of them," the brothers and the Jedi heard. The older man pulled a small silver cylinder from his belt while the younger did the same. Ed and Al stared in amazement when a few seconds later glowing rods of light extended from one end of the cylinders one blue, one green.

"What the hell is tha-" Ed yelped as the two jumped forward with superhuman speed and started hacking at something beyond the doors. Something that sounded startlingly like a rain of bullets erupted and red beams of light shot in all directions.

Ed and Al stared dumbstruck as the scene slowly came into view as the gas dispersed. The two men were fighting these strange skeletal looking robots, robots that shot red light beams out of guns strapped to their arms. That is, both were dumbstruck until a stray bolt flew low at Ed and as he ducked, it burnt off his antenna.

"Ah!" Al squealed. "What is that?!"

"It _was_ a Federation battle droid," the younger of the pair of... not-quite aliens replied. He indicated a mess of melted and diced bits of one of the robots.

"No, the red things!" Al squealed a second time.

"Uh..." The younger shot a confused look at his friend. "A blaster bolt..."

"I believe we should save this conversation for later," the older of the men said when Ed and Al stared (can armours even stare?) incredulously for the third time in minutes. Both him and his friend headed out into the smoke-filled hallway.

"It looks like it's safe," the younger man said and beckoned to the brothers. Both him and the older man still had their glowing tubes of light held up.

"I think introductions are in order, while we aren't in any danger. I'm Qui Gon Jinn, and this is my apprentice, Obi Wan Kenobi," the old man told Ed and Al. Obi Wan nodded to the two.

Ed just glared. Al sighed. "My name is Alphonse, and Ed here is my older brother," Al told Qui Gon.

"It's nice to have met you, even under such circumstances," Qui Gon told Al. Obi Wan, however, burst out,

"Older brother?!"

Al managed to look confused. "Yes..."

Qui Gon quickly and silently made his way to the bridge, just up the hallway, and where he was sure the viceroy was hiding. The blast doors, much like the ones on the conference room door, slammed shut in response to his approach. He sighed and sank his green lightsaber into the metal. the aliens knew that nothing could keep out a Jedi...

"What in the world _is_ that?" Edward yelped, dropping his grumpy façade and staring openly at the lightsaber. Surely if there had been such a thing on Amestris he would have studied it, used it, pulled it to pieces and put it back together again (much like Winry would have, he thought sadly). But no, this was entirely off planet; off _galaxy_, even.

"It's a lightsaber, a weapon used only by Jedi Knights," Obi Wan informed him.

"What's a Jedi Knight then?"

Obi Wan just looked at him. "Surely you've heard of us."

"Can't say I have."

"Where _have_ you been all your life?"

"Certainly not here!" Ed retorted.

"Um, mister Obi Wan, what are _those_?" Al asked, still fretting, as he pointed at two approaching robot things that looked somewhat similar to portable rolling... dentist chairs?

"Destroyers!" Obi Wan alerted Qui Gon, who promptly yanked his glowing 'lightsaber' from the half-melted blast door and stood ready to attack.

After a few minutes of trading red glowing things- blaster bolts Ed reminded himself- Qui Gon ordered,

"It's a standoff. Let's go." He motioned for Ed and Al to follow and took off at quite a fast pace. Ed shrugged and followed. Follow or die; it wasn't like they had a choice.

It would have been easier to get to the hangar bay without the two boys following. Sure, Edward could have easily fit in the service vent, but his 'younger brother' had a quite a large body, and was unable to even fit his shoulder in, let alone his whole bulk.

However, with a bit of chopping and dicing of yet more droids, the two Jedi and brothers were able to make it. Now for getting on one of the transports...

Obi Wan was stumped. Qui Gon was stumped. Edward was stumped... well, who wouldn't be? Dying, Gate and different galaxy all in the space of about an hour. Al was just... fretting.

"I have it," Obi Wan said after a couple minutes of puzzling and worrying about getting found.

"Alphonse, follow me," he ordered and stood up. Al made to follow, but Ed held him back, and growled at Obi Wan.

"Where are you taking him?"

Qui Gon put a hand on the blond's arm. "Your brother will be fine. We'll meet down on the planet. Trust me."

"Why should I?" Edward snarled. Qui Gon sighed. A little Force suggestion never hurt anybody...

"Your brother _will_ be fine," he told Edward, waving his hand a little.

Ed blinked at him. Then glared. "Stop trying to mess with my head!"

Qui Gon was taken aback.

"Brother, it'll be okay. It'll only take a few minutes to get down there," Al assured him.

Ed nodded slowly. "Fine... but if anything happens to Al, both of you are dead," he informed the Jedi. Qui Gon frowned. The shorty was serious...

"Follow me, Alphonse, and act as menacing as possible," Obi Wan told the suit of armour.

"No problem," Al replied and chuckled nervously. The Jedi and armour headed out to the front of one of the cargo ships. Obi Wan made a beeline for the officer-droid in charge of overseeing cargo.

Qui Gon whispered quickly to Ed, "Let's go. And be as quiet as humanly possible. We can't afford to be seen."

The two Jedi and two alchemists stowed away on the ships of the Trade Federation.

* * *

Eirtaé pulled Winry gently to her feet. "I have someone, your highness." 

"Bring them to me."

Winry was pushed in front of the girl, who held the gun to her back. Winry took the opportunity to hide her wrench in her pocket... who knew when it would come in handy?

As she was placed in front of 'her highness', Winry looked up to see a girl not much younger than her, with the same build, only with dark brown hair.

"What is your name?" her highness's words were kind, as if she could tell Winry was half scared out of her wits.

"Winr- uh, Winter, your highness." Perhaps it was better not to tell true names.

"What are you doing in my throne room at the time of invasion, Winter?"

"I-I don't know. I was in the military headquarters of Central with Riza... she told me my... brothers were dead. Then I uh... f-faded and woke up here." Truth is good. Except for the 'brothers' bit...

Another girl spoke up from behind her highness; she was getting her face powdered and painted on, exactly the same as her highness's face paint. "Don't trust her, Padmé. She may be a spy for the viceroy."

"I shall make that decision, Sabé, not you," 'Padmé' snapped. "Tell me, Winter, do you know what planet this is."

"Earth? Only I'm not sure of the country..." Winry looked even more confused when Padmé shook her head.

"You are on the planet of Naboo."

Winry's eyes held only confusion. Complete and utter confusion.

"Saché, retrieve a battle dress for Winter. I believe I may have a new handmaiden."

"Your highness, you are being unreasonable!" Sabé interrupted. "You are trusting this girl for no good reason!"

"Sabé, save it! I have a feeling we can trust her. Perhaps after this is over we can send her to the Jedi. Master Yoda will know what to do with her." The Jedi master knew almost everything about 'supernatural' matters, and could probably help 'Winter', who didn't seem to know what galaxy she was in. And a pretty teenager like her would be a snack for the underdogs of the galaxy no matter where she went.

Eirtaé released Winry and returned to her post, smiling slightly. Padmé could be so soft-hearted sometimes; the handmaiden only hoped it wouldn't be her downfall.

* * *

A small hologram of Gunray appeared on the small disk lying flat in the commander battle droid's hand apparatus. 

"There are no traces of the Jedi. They may have gotten on one of your landing craft," the slimy alien informed the robot.

"If they are down here, sir, we'll find them," the droid told its master and closed off the holo.

* * *

Please review! Reviews make me happyfull and keep me alive from under this evil mountain that was once homework but is now death and pain! 

Also; in the next chapter, Jar-Jar comes in. And I really want to kill him off. But, some people I know like him, so I'll let you guys decide! Shall Jar Jar live to work in the Senate, or perish awfully?


	4. Episode I: Swamps and Gungans

Believe it or not, the mountain of doom, gloom and death has toppled over and into Hell. I have no homework for the entire weekend! Yay! So, I decided to write chapter 4.

For the usual jazz-

Pairings: As I said before, Ed/Win. As well as Anakin/Padmé. I don't know yet, but mayhap Al will find a special someone...

Warnings: Spoilers for the series up until episode twenty four. Things may change, as I'm rewatching the series at the moment. In fact, to be on the safe side, spoilers for throughout the series!

Disclaimer: I don't own neither FMA nor Star Wars. I'd be very, very rich if I did.

And a word to my reviewers:

OMFG!! THANK YOU SOOO MUCH FOR REVIEWING!! I nearly had a heart attack when I saw how many reviews I got. :D

Huggles and muffins to-

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Anyway; on with the show!!

**The Jedi Alchemist**

_Chapter 4- Swamps and Gungans_

The early morning mist was just beginning to thin as Jar Jar Binks waded through the Naboo swamp in search of breakfast. The cool damp air felt good against his reddish ear-flaps that hung halfway down his back and the murky water was pleasantly warm around his thick toes. All he needed now was a nice big fish and-

A gleam of silver caught his eye, half-hidden in the reeds. Jar Jar smiled happily and reached out to grab the open clam. It snapped shut as soon as his long wiry fingers touched it. He settled down to open his meal.

_Dissen the life_, he thought, content. _Goody mornin munchen and no Captain Tarpals making fuss over little accidenties._ The Gungan looked up and froze.

A giant _thing_ moved through the swamp, a thing with an enormous and bulbous head, but with no eyes. It looked like one of those nightmarish creatures that arose from the Core at random intervals, but this one... this one looked like it was made of metal.

Swamp creatures fled before it, scrambling out of its way. And among the nuna and peko peko two Humans ran, one tall and bearded, the other short and blond. Not even they could stay ahead of the monster; it gained on them both steadily. And then it was headed towards him, Jar Jar Binks.

"Nooo!" Jar Jar cried and made to run only to realise it was helpless. Instead, he latched leech-like onto the tall Human running past. "Hep me, hep me!"

"Let go!" the Human shouted in response, but Jar Jar only clung tighter. The Human sighed and pulled both Jar Jar and his blond friend to the ground. The monster went straight over the top of the three of them, hot air trailing. Jar Jar pulled himself out of the mud and looked up just as the big monster faded into the swamp mist.

"Oyi!" he said and grabbed both the blond Human and the bearded Human who had saved him into an over joyous hug. "I luvs yous!"

Ed looked up (and this annoyed him greatly) at this tall, lanky and extremely stupid creature and snorted. "What the hell is this?" he asked Qui Gon.

"It's a Gungan and it almost got us killed," Qui Gon snapped as he glared at Jar Jar. "Are you brainless?!"

"I spake," Jar Jar replied as if it was obvious that the fact that he could speak made him intelligent. Qui Gon cut that thought down immediately;

"The ability to speak does not make you intelligent. Get out of here."

Qui Gon started off, in the direction of the droid carrier. Ed followed him, grudgingly admitting to himself that if he didn't follow the old geezer, he'd either end up dead or lost. Plus, his friend still had Al, wherever they were.

"No!" Jar Jar yelled. "Mesa stay. Mesa your humble servant!"

Ed snorted a second time. "How do people understand you? You speak like a two year old. And I'll bet a two year old would be more-"

"Edward," Qui Gon interrupted. "It wouldn't be wise to insult him. It would be a waste of breath." Ed blinked at the Jedi then smirked. Maybe the old guy _wasn't_ as stuffy as he first thought. "That won't be necessary," Qui Gon told Jar Jar sharply.

Jar Jar rolled his eyes. _Humans never understand _anything! "Oh boot tis! Tis demunded byda guds. Tis a live debett, tis. Mesa culled Jaja Binkss."

A blasting sound in the distance alerted Qui Gon of the arrival of his apprentice and Ed's... brother.

Jar Jar sputtered and shouted at the top of his lungs, "Oh no! Wesa ganna-" he was cut off by Qui Gon throwing him face-first to the ground (trying not to take to much pleasure in doing so, of course) and ignited his lightsaber.

Jar Jar raised his head, spitting out water and mud and finished what he had been saying before he was so rudely interrupted, "-die!" just as the two droids following Obi Wan and Al on flying STAPs opened fire. To both the Gungan and Ed's amazement, Qui Gon intercepts the bolts and directed them back towards the two droids, blowing them to smithereens. Sparks and half-melted metal fell hissing into the swamp.

Obi Wan slowed his run and walked towards his master, but Al continued full out pelting towards his brother and gathered the startled alchemist into a hug.

"Brother, you're safe!"

"Al, ouch- lemme go! Can't breathe-" Al dropped his brother quickly. Ed fell backwards into the murky water and landed with a splash.

"Heh... sorry brother?" Al enquired sheepishly as the pint-sized, mud soaked teenager glared up at him.

"Sorry, Master," Obi Wan was saying to Qui Gon. "The battle droids let us on the landing craft easily enough. Then Gunray must have realised we got away... we were discovered and had to run for it." The younger Jedi sighed. "To make matter worse, the water fried my lightsaber." He held out his silver cylinder... which wasn't silver anymore but a blackened tube.

Qui Gon examined the tube. "You forgot to turn your power off again, didn't you?"

Obi Wan nodded guiltily. Jar Jar, forgotten and still coated in mud cocked his head to one side. He felt sorry for the younger Jedi. He knew from experience how easy it was to forget things.

Qui Gon sighed. "It won't take long to recharge. But I hope you've finally learnt your lesson, my young Padawan."

"Wait." Ed had finally managed to stand. "You're saying that since that little silver thing ran out of power, Al was in danger?" He glared at Obi Wan.

Thankfully, Al saved the two Jedi from one of Ed's wrathful fits. "Brother, I'm not helpless! I could have used alchemy if I needed to." He waved a piece of chalk - Gate knows where it came from - in his brother's face.

"Yeah, I know, but this is a different galaxy, Al," Ed whined. "Who knows what these people can do." He clapped his hands together and touched them to his coat, then shirt, then pants. An electric blue glow, followed by gold sparks followed his actions. Ed grinned at Al.

"That's better." Edward Elric was dry and clean once more. Yay.

Qui Gon, Obi Wan and Jar Jar **(A.N. What's with all these two part names?!)** ogled at Ed, mouths gaping and eyes wide.

The alchemist noticed. "What?"

"May I enquire... what was that?" Qui Gon asked, snapping out of his stare.

"Alchemy," Al replied simply.

"Which is what?" Obi Wan questioned.

Ed stared back at the Jedi. "And I thought this guy was stupid," he said, jabbing a thumb at Jar Jar. When Obi Wan didn't answer, he explained slowly and carefully, as if trying to get a small child to understand, "Alchemy's a technique used to transform something into something else." He smirked at Al. "Al and I are alchemists."

Qui Gon looked thoughtful. "I've heard of alchemy. Master Yoda referred to it once or twice. But to actually _see_ it performed..." he shook his head and laughed ruefully. "He always did know more about the universe than any I've known..."

"Yousa saved my again, hey?" Jar Jar interrupted, looking pointedly at Qui Gon. The awkward silence was beginning to bug the Gungan, so he thought a change of subject would help things along.

"What _is_ this?" Obi Wan asked, not-too-enthusiastically.

"It's a local," Qui Gon replied. "Which reminds me... we'd better go, before more droids show up."

The dismissal annoyed Jar Jar even further, but then he registered...

"Mure? Mure, did you spake?" Machines bad. More machines mean very bad.

Qui Gon and Obi Wan started to run ignoring Jar Jar and following the direction the carrier had gone, Ed and Al following quickly.

Jar Jar had to think for a moment before following. Then a thought occurred to him.

"Ex-squeezee-me, but da moto grande safe place would be Otah Ganga," he called after the Jedi as he ran. "Tis where I grew up. Tis a safe city."

Qui Gon stopped in his tracks and turned to look at Jar Jar. "A city? Can you take us there?"

Jar Jar hesitated. The Gungan city would be safe for the Humans and the big metal guy... okay, maybe not the big metal guy... but as for him... "Ah, on seconds taut, no. Not willy, no." Seeing their surprise, he looked down, embarrassed.

"Tis embarrassing- my afraid my've bin banished. My forgotten, der bosses would do terrible tings to me, terrible tings, if my goen back dare," he explained in a rush. Edward blinked at him, wondering what the hell he said and Obi Wan smirked.

"You hear that?" Qui Gon asked the Gungan, referring to the crashing of droid carriers through the undergrowth. "That's the sound of a thousand terrible things heading this way."

"If they find us, they will crush us, grind us into tiny pieces..." Obi Wan continued.

"And blast us into oblivion!" Ed butted in with unnecessary emphasis. He blinked. Where did that come from?

"Uh..." Now Jar Jar looked unsure. "Yousa point ist well seen. Ah... dis way, hurry!"

* * *

_In Thede, the capital of the Naboo_

The courtyard was teaming with skeletal battle droids. Sabé, dressed as her Queen, and the small group of handmaidens were standing by the window as Viceroy Nute Gunray's ship landed.

Heralded by super battle droids, the viceroy and his attendants came down the ramp.

The true queen, standing next to Winry half-whimpered, and to the mechanic it sounded as if the girl was trying very hard not to cry.

"It'll be okay," she whispered to Padmé, in what she hoped was a reassuring voice. But inside, she was wishing she was home, in Risembool, with Den asleep at her feet and her grandmother Pinako yelling at her to get up and complete a customer's automail. Not in this strange and foreign place, with no-one to turn to. But what she wished more than anything...

The blonde, hiding behind a hood and robe made of silk the colour of the setting sun, shut her blue eyes and tried to hold in tears.

_I wish Ed and Al were here..._

* * *

I HATE JAR JAR. HE SHOULD DIE AND BURN IN A HOLE.

Thank the Gate that's off my chest.

Please review! Reviews keep me alive and happyful! And they also let me know if I suck or not :P


	5. Episode I: To Acquire Transport

It's been nearly a full school term since I've updated. I'm so sorry!

I've been really busy with school with exams of DOOM!. Not to mention a friend introduced me to Death Note… needless to say, I obsessed like a fangirl over that for the longest amount of time.

It took a PM from Annethy to get my muse back into gear. Thank you so much, as I _was_ in quite a fix over what to do for that particular aspect of Jedi Alchemist. And it was _not_ a dumb idea:D

Also taking into consideration is my would-be survival of the Central Coast Disaster. Which was a pain in the neck, for power decided to commit suicide for a long while. And the water… I mean, sure, us Australians have been suffering from a drought for yonks, but we didn't need to be flooded under up to 11.4 metres of water (in some areas around the Hunter Region). The ground is still trying to dry out.

For the usual jazz:

Pairings: Ed/Win, Anakin/Padmé and maybe Al will have a special someone sometime… Here I say: Master, for the love of God, I'm not going to try and write Anakin/Gunray/Grievous. Very… imaginative threesome, though. Where in the world did it spring from?

Warnings: Spoilers for the series up until episode twenty four. Things may change, as I'm rewatching the series at the moment. In fact, to be on the safe side, spoilers for throughout the series!

Disclaimer: No own. I can dream, however...

Thank you all to my reviewers!! Mustard Gal, Lunatic Pandora1, shinigami109, getuo6, Annethy, Shadewolf7, chris and soupcan! I love you all, and give you muffins!

**The Jedi Alchemist**

_Chapter 5- To Acquire Transport_

The echoes and whirs of the transports had begun to fade into the distance when the two Jedi, two alchemists and one annoying Gungan came to a halt in front of a murky swamp.

Jar Jar bent over, panting, as Qui Gon scrutinized their surroundings thoroughly, checking for any signs of danger. The Force was silent. The old Jedi couldn't tell if that was good or bad. Things were so unclear…

Ed was eying his covered-in-muck-and-slime-and-who-knew-what boots, disgust clearly showing on his face. And add to the fact that Al was screeching from the waist down everytime he so much as bent his knees to take a step…

It was safe (or not) to say that the Fullmetal Alchemist was annoyed beyond all hell.

"Is it much farther?" he managed to ask politely, gritting his teeth to keep from screaming and destroying the closest alien in a fit of frustration. Al admired his control… any other place, and his whirlwind of a brother would have the closest harmless individual in a headlock.

"Wesa goen under water, okeyday?" Jar Jar replied, and started wading into the filthy swamp.

"No, _not _okay!" Ed smothered his screech. Instead, his voice came out sounding like a breathy half-scream.

"Whie?" Jar Jar stopped, turned and asked, crab-eyes wide with stupid-induced confusion.

"Your droid-"

"His name is Al and he's not a robot!" Ed yelled at the Padawan, losing his cool (who could blame him, really?) for a fraction a second.

Obi Wan glared at him. "_Al_ then… him being a suit of armour will pose some problems from here." He turned to Qui Gon. "What if we were to follow Jar Jar to the Gungan city, and then return for Edward's brother?"

The Jedi nodded thoughtfully. "That could work…"

"Uhm… about that…" Ed interrupted, looking sheepish now.

"Brother can't swim either," Al interjected helpfully. "He has automail limbs."

"Which means what, exactly?" Qui Gon narrowed his eyes, unwilling to fall victim to anymore of the brothers' 'surprises'.

Ed sighed dejectedly and yanked the mud-smeared glove from his automail hand, and flashed the sparkling metal in the sunlight peeking through the vines, to get his point across. "I lost my arm and leg in an accident when I was younger. The same accident that made Al as he is, as a matter of fact."

Obi Wan stared in honest disbelief, as his master brushed the news off with a half-grumble. "It looks as if we will be visiting the Gungan city and then returning for the two of you."

"That sounds good, mister Qui Gon," Al offered timidly, shifting a little.

"You better come back for us," Ed threatened. "Or I'll hunt you down and-"

"Do what, brother?" Al cut in, annoyed now. "Those shiny silver tube-things can slice through anything you can create with alchemy."

"_Alll_…" Ed whined in response.

"My warning yous," Jar Jar said, loudly. He was still confused, and felt that he should put something intelligent-sounding into the conversation. "Gungans no liking outsiders. Don't espect a warm welcome."

The two Jedi stepped into the water, Obi Wan pulling a face as it soaked through his boots. Jar Jar dived.

Ed folded his arms as their new traveling companions pulled some sort of metal breathing devices of their utility belts and ducked underwater.

"This has to be the _worst_ death ever," he declared.

* * *

Gungans of all sizes scattered as Jar Jar Binks passed through the portal to the outside underwater world. A few youngsters even screamed as they saw the convict was followed into peaceful Otah Gunga by two tall humans… _humans!_

An alarm was instantly raised, and the intruders were surrounded by guards wielding fierce-looking shock sticks. Jar Jar greeted one of them, much to Qui Gon's amazement; the bearded Gungan was regarding the younger with open hostility.

"Heylo-dalee, Captin Tarpals! Mesa back," Jar Jar stated happily, not troubled in the slightest, disregarding the fact that he was trapped.

Tarpals glared at him. "Noah gain, Jar Jar. Yousa goen to da Bosses. Yousa in big doo-doo dis time." He poked the Gungan with his shock stick to emphasize his point.

Jar Jar acknowledged it. He drooped visibly, muttering about rude people, as he and the two Jedi were led to the Bosses.

* * *

Obi Wan had to admit, he found the entire Gungan race repulsive. He didn't mean to sound racist, not even in his own head, it was just… by the Force, they were stupid and kept disgusting habits. The Boss himself was the worst: nearly every time he spoke, he gurgled and slobbered onto the floor.

Qui Gon was likely to reprimand him if he didn't keep his mind focused on the matter at hand, in any case. He didn't want to be caught making a youngling's mistake.

"Yousa cannot bees hair," Boss Nass was saying to the elder of the Jedi. The rest of his council were glowering and trying to look as imposing as possible, but all attention in the room was fixed on the war of words between the human and Boss.

"Dis army of makineeks up dare tis new weesong!" he continued, making no sense whatsoever to the Padawan.

"That droid army is about to attack the Naboo," Qui Gon argued and put his hands on his hips. "We must warn them."

"Wesa no like da Naboo. Un dey no like uss-ens. Da Naboo tink day smartey den us-ens. Day tink deir brains so big." The Boss was more stubborn than the blond teenager, Edward, in Obi Wan's opinion.

"After those droids take control of the surface, they will take control of you," the young Jedi found himself saying, vexed at Nass's lack of cooperation.

"Misa no tink so," the Boss turned his ray of stubborn-ness on the Padawan. "Da makineeks no comen here! Dey not know of uss-en."

This called for a scientific statement of some description to back up his argument. "You and the Naboo form a symbiont circle. What happens to one of you will affect the other, you must understand this."

"Wesa wish no nutten in yousa tings, outlander, and wesa no care-n about da Naboo," Nass declared. Obi Wan held in a sigh of irritation.

Qui Gon waved his hand, discreetly using Force-suggestion. "Then speed us on our way."

The Boss leaned forward, a nasty sneer on his face. "Wesa gonna speed yousaway."

"We'll need a transport," the Jedi Master hinted, sounding as if he was commenting on the weather.

"Wesa give yousa una bongo. Da speediest way tooda Naboo is goen through-" the great lump of an alien leered unpleasantly at him. "…da Core. Now _go_."

Qui Gon bowed. "Thank you for your help. We go in peace."

Obi Wan held in relief as Qui Gon turned, and nodded for him to lead the way out. He complied happily.

"Master, what's a bongo?" he asked.

Qui Gon looked somewhat puzzled. "A transport, I hope." He paused, and Obi Wan ceased walking a heart beat later. He turned to find Qui Gon looking at a chained and dejected Jar Jar. His heart sank.

_No__! We just got rid of the Gungan, Master!_ His child-like self yelled.

"Dazen setten yousa up. Goen through da planet core is bad bombin!" Jar Jar informed the older Jedi woefully. He looked around and looked noticeably cowed at the angry stares being sent his way. "Uhh… any hep heire would be hut."

"We are short of time," Obi Wan reminded before his Master got any wild ideas.

Qui Gon nodded absently. "We'll need a navigator to get us through the planet's core," he said. Obi Wan slumped inwardly. _Too late…_ "This Gungan may be of help." He walked back towards the platform and spoke directly to Boss Nass.

"What is to become of Jar Jar Binks here?"

Nass smirked, almost evilly. "Binkss broken the nocombackie law. Hisen to be… pune-ished." Jar Jar swallowed visibly.

Qui Gon ignored the threat. "He has been a great help to us. I hope the punishment will not be too severe."

The huge Gungan grinned. "Pounded to death."

Jar Jar cowered, grimacing. "Oooh, ouchie!"

"We need a navigator to get us through the planet's core. I saved Jar Jar Bink's life. He owes me what you call a 'life-debt'." Qui Gon chose his words carefully. He needed to sound as if he could take the nuisance away and never let him return.

"Binkss." Jar Jar looked up at the direct use of his name. "Yousa havena lifeplay wis dissen hisen?"

The Gungan nodded quickly.

"Your gods demand that his life belongs to me now." It was the icing on the cake.

Nass nodded in begrudging agreement. "Hisen live tis yos, outlander. Begone wit him."

Obi Wan couldn't help but think that Edward was going to chuck a hissy fit when he saw Jar Jar. Like the Padawan, Ed had been hoping that the annoying alien would be left behind with his own kind. Apparently not.

"I suddenly have a bad feeling…" Al piped up, stopping Ed in his tracks. The blond teen was pacing - sloshing, really - back and forth on the edge of the swamp, almost wearing a groove in the mud.

"What d'you mean, Al?"

The armour shrugged. "I don't know… just bad. You know that saying, when someone walks over your grave?"

"Al, I'm willing to bet we don't _have _graves for people to walk over."

Alphonse shrugged a second time. "It's just a feeling, anyway."

Just a feeling.

* * *

Sorry, this chapter was really just a filler-in. Hopefully things'll get more interesting soon.

Also, if anyone wants a translation of Gungan words/phrases, just ask, and I should be able to send you back the Gunganese in English.

Please review! Like or hate, I would like to know!


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